Cruisin

Cruises. A sequined dream life and a hefty dose of reality on one big floating city. If you want the truth, at first it was a bit of an adjustment. Not the yummy food and the made up beds and clean laundry- that’s pretty fantastic. But the glitzy consumerism, the photographers that make you pose with show girls and gladiators, the line up of big bellied people in robes limping through the pizza stand at three in the morning. We expected some of this of course, but have you seen Walle? Just saying.

There’s a lot of fun to be had on a cruise, but different kinds of people like to have different kinds of fun. I, for example, enjoy a good book and a cup of coffee. Dud city, I know. I’m embarrassed to say that the first thing I did after getting settled was go in search of the library and the coffee bar, while everyone else flitted about with tropical drinks and headed to the casino or the pool (eventually we spent- and lost- $10 each at the casino, at my suggestion, so I’m slowly conforming). It’s not that I don’t want to have this kind of fun. I want to laugh when the bleach blonde cruise director makes another lukewarm, off colour joke. I want to enjoy watching a dozen Asian men impersonate Frank Sinatra during karaoke (and the exact same song- seriously. Watching Becky do her thing totally makes up for it). I want to stop sneaking out of the auditorium every time they threaten to randomly pick people from the crowd to go on stage and do things like drop a spoon down their dress or yodel. Why can’t I get into that kind of thing? Guess I’m just not prime cruise material and I feel kind of bad about it.

I get to see Turkey and Greece, though, which was the entire point of this cruise. Plus I’m trying to be less judgmental (working on it). This is the sort of place I would, I’m ashamed to say, love to mentally tear to shreds the moment I walk in the door (while secretly loving the warm chocolate melting cake and wondering what animal our towels would be folded into when we get back to our room. I’m totally aware of the hypocrisy). But then I sit in the hot tub while we watch a movie on the big screen under the stars- how can a person not love that? Or I take the kids to Camp Carnival, which is like a cross between Disneyland, summer camp and Mad Science. John loves the bean bag toss (John and Becky are the champs, at least in my mind. Aw.) Or we walk around the deck at night with a glass of wine or order room service at midnight just because we can.

I also notice the other people on board. Like the older lady pushing her husband in a wheelchair and I wonder if maybe this is a gift from their kids or their last trip together or just a simple way for them to see some other places in the world. There are some couples on their honeymoon, which is sweet. We met seven young Australians that are taking this cruise half way through their backpacking trip around Europe (one of them sings some pretty mean Elton John, with some dance moves you should ask Becky about). A hippie that lives on a farm in Costa Rica congratulated us on our family trip (“I can tell you guys are some really far out people. Good for you!”) and also on our moving to Vancouver Island where, as everyone knows, you can get the best bud (his words, not mine). The lady at our table is an unpatriotic left wing Christian from North Carolina who takes her grandson on a cruise every year (John basks in her Bush bashing southern drawl every supper with a big grin on his face and has taken her grandson under his wing a bit). We met a couple in their eighties who incorporate the odd cruise into their travels and just returned from backpacking through Peru. Backpacking through Peru! At eighty! Followed by a cruise! Enjoy it all, I say. At least that’s what I want to say. And we have Becky, who is a walking lesson in uncomplicated fun. Cynicism free, which is refreshing. Karaoke with the old men and bean bag toss with John- that’s a girl who knows how to enjoy life wherever she is. Yay for Becky! She also has all our kids in her room at night, would you believe it. We keep insisting to take them back, at least we did once when she was out of ear shot. Just kidding.
And the stops aren’t too bad either. We just spent three days in Turkey where we saw Ephesus (even better than Pompeii, more on that from John), swam in the Mediterranean Sea, walked barefoot through the Blue Mosque and pushed our way through the crowds at the Grand Bazaar. Seriously, that place is crazy. Men shouting over each other at the money exchange, women in head to toe black, everyone inviting you into their shops “just as a friend” (a friend who wants you to drop ten grand on a silk carpet). And, the food. We found the yummiest little shop where the guy pushed three stools up against the wall (the whole bazaar is inside and very crowded) and brought us some kind of savory meaty wraps and fresh squeezed pomegranate juice. Later we bought the lightest, freshest most moist and flaky baklava that made me sad for all the sticky heavy goopy, too sweet excuses for baklava back home. Sad little Canadian baklava. We bought an extra box to take back on the ship. I should add that it broke my heart to try baklava in Greece. After Istanbul I thought that Greece’s sweet little pastries would just blow my mind. Nope. Safeway special all over again. I think I cried.

I did have the most amazing dolmades in Athens, though, but I think that most people aren’t as passionate about food as I am, especially when they’re not the ones eating it. So I’ll leave the two paragraph long description for another time. Just three words: succulent lemony goodness.
The day after tomorrow is Florence. It still feels wrong to say things like that. Like I’m saying tomorrow I take my private jet to a palace on Mount Kilimanjaro where I’ll mine for rare golden diamonds. That’s how crazy this whole trip feels.

The cruise has been a teacher for these two quick to judge, slow to drop stereotypes people. It’s fun. It’s nice to be pampered. Admit it- you like it too. As for the stuff I’m uncomfortable with, like the overpriced jewelry and the bad music? I guess I need to leave some room for slight sarcasm, and who better to pass it on to then John? Just keep it in check, Angie, just keep it in check.

Tonight- the Jive Jump and Wail and group Halloween games. Bring it on, Carnival.

Angie